Ahoy all!
Before I get into my weekend antics, I should probably get down to business and finish this prolific week off with a bang. I’m going to hunker down and prepare a report on octopuses to prove to Tourism Queensland that I will be the best applicant for “The Best Job in the World.” No better way to find out about octopuses, than to interview them.
Marcella: Good afternoon Mr. Octopoda.
Octopus: Well it’s actually good morning…I am 18 hours ahead of you, Eastern Standard Time.
Marcella: So it is already Valentine’s Day there in Australia?
Octopus: Yes! Thanks for reminding me…I would have been in the dog house for forgetting!
Marcella: You must be a really good kisser with all those suckers?
Octopus: That’s for sure. I have two rows of suckers on each appendage that can taste sweet, sour and bitter.
Marcella: What about hugs?
Octopus: I have a pretty solid grip. A little guy weighing about 1.4kgs needs around 18kgs to release his suction. It’s pretty hard to get away from me when I come in for a squeeze.
Marcella: When did you start showing up in oceans?
Octopus: About 500 million years ago.
Marcella: What does Octopus mean?
Octopus: The clever Greeks called me “Eight-Footer,” and it stuck. No pun intended. I prefer it when folks call my appendages arms.
Marcella: I heard you can really jet?
Octopus: True. I can reach speeds of up to 25 miles an hour. But that is only when I get really annoyed. I can’t sustain that propulsion speed.
Marcella: I heard you are deaf and colour blind?
Octopus: Wow, you are really digging at all my weaknesses! I am actually deaf. And yes, I can only see in black and white, but I have super vision.
Marcella: I find this incredibly interesting considering you can camouflage yourself to almost any background colour or texture. How do you do that?
Octopus: I can change my cloak by contracting skin cells and muscles filled with pigments. My favorite past-time is tricking dumb predators when I mimic other sea creatures. It’s a riot!
Marcella: So when do you use your famous ink defense?
Octopus: This arsenal is only used when a predator figures me out. I squirt some black mucus mixed with pure melanin pigment to mask my getaway and confuse my predator. Call it a smokescreen if you will.
Marcella: So you carry around this ink in a pouch, or something?
Octopus: It’s a muscular bag that is beneath the hind gut. It opens into my anus, and I call it my ink sac.
Marcella: Who are your closest relatives?
Octopus: The Squid and Cuttlefish, but I am way more intelligent than those invertebrates! I am smart like a cat.
Marcella: What are you having for lunch today?
Octopus: Seafood. I hope to catch a crab, a snail and a fish or two.
Marcella: Any enemies that you are trying to avoid?
Octopus: Morays and sharks.
Marcella: Any other interesting tidbits we should know about you?
Octopus: When I get too stressed out I get really run down. I can get a terrible virus that can make me eat my own arm. Not pretty!
Marcella: No doubt! Well, thank you very much Mr. Octopoda for your time. It was a pleasure talking with you.
Octopus: No, no, it was all mine. Good luck with your application video!
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