Ahoy all,
I have become more technologically inclined, and so decided to call an Australian living in the Great Barrier Reef via Skype. I am very excited to finally meet virtually face to face with the Crown-of-Thorns Starfish. There are so many questions that need to be answered….
Crown-of-Thorns Starfish: (burps) Hello, can you see me Marcella?
Marcella: Hi Mr. C.O.T.S, yeah I can see you…it sounds like you just ate a big meal!
C.O.T.S: Please call me Thorny, Marcella. Sorry about the belch, you have no idea how full I am right now….
Marcella: Thorny, don’t take this the wrong way, but I hear that you are a little greedy when it comes to eating your surrounding coral.
C.O.T.S: It’s true! My membranous stomach has a mind of its own! I absorb about 6 sq metres of coral tissue a year.
Marcella: How about your name…doesn’t it bother you to be called after a bunch of thorn branches that were placed on Jesus right before his crucifixion?
C.O.T.S: Well some Christian writers believe that thorns symbolized the Fall of Man…how that all might relate to me, I don’t know. Most likely my name is Thorny ’cause I’m thorny.
Marcella: Right. So how do you do it…I mean eat all that beautiful coral and leave only a dead white skeleton?
C.O.T.S: Well, I am a highly specialized animal trained to breakdown and kill coral energy reserves. I can survive without feeding up to 9 months…so to put it into perspective, when I eat I have to think that I may never eat again!
Marcella: You have a pretty bad reputation for “outbreaks”, how do you feel about that?
C.O.T.S: You know Marcella, I am not the only one that eats for a living. There is a huge population of Crown-of-Thorn Starfish that group together to cause mass polyp mortality. I am peanuts compared to those gangs!
Marcella: Thorny, you should open your eyes and see what kind of devastation you are creating to the GBR!
C.O.T.S: My eyes are always wide open. I bet you didn’t even know that I have eyespots on the tip of each arm which act as light sensors….
Marcella: Really, how many star fish arms do you have?
C.O.T.S: I am in my senile phase of development with 18 arms. I have lost many appendages to predators over the years, but thankfully they always grow back…kinda like your finger nails.
Marcella: Senile?
C.O.T.S: It sounds terrible doesn’t it? The worst part about this declining stage is that my desire to reproduce is low.
Marcella: This may be a little personal Thorny, but what is the average age of an echinoderm like yourself?
C.O.T.S: I don’t know about those other urchins, but I suspect to grow very old and live to be 8.
Marcella: So what’s this I hear about you being toxic?
C.O.T.S: Ah jeez, here you go again! I am only toxic and inflammatory if you stomp on my head. I bet you would get pretty inflamed too!
Marcella: Couldn’t we just come to some win-win agreement about your eating habits if us humans would stop poking you all the time?
C.O.T.S: Ha! I can totally tell that you just went through that negotiation class at BCIT! I am afraid to tell you that I am what I am!
Marcella: Well thanks for all the info, Thorny.
C.O.T.S: I just hope you don’t have the wrong impression of me, Marcella. By that way, congratulations on your 79th blog post…have you ever heard of the band Magnetic Fields and their album 79 Love Songs?
Marcella: Yes I have Thorny, but that album was 69 Love Songs, but close enough. I’m crazy for you, but not that crazy.
1 comment so far Click to reply »
April 9th, 2009
lol…wacky as always. You know Marcella, you should really consider compiling all your “interviews” (and any you’ve got swirling up in that busy brain of yours) and create an educational book for children. It’s way more fun to learn about C.O.T.S.s this way than through texts that have the power of knocking you out cold in seconds!