Ahoy all!

Happy Saturday to you!  After listening to David Suzuki on the radio this morning, I have been inspired to be more active in helping grumbling mother earth.  So, today instead of sitting around watching the clock and throwing plastic bottles out the window, I have decided to go and visit a floating plastic island in the Pacific Ocean.  I want to see for myself exactly what is going on there, and to prove to Tourism Queensland that I love the earth enough to interview it.

Marcella: Happy day!  What is your name?
Garbage Patch: I am officially known as The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, but you can call me Garby for short.

Marcella: Holy smokes!  How big are you?!
Garbage Patch: Twice the size of Texas.

Marcella: Wow, you are really huge, Garby!  How much do you weigh?
Garbage Patch: I am about 3.5 million tons, and growing.

Marcella: Why did you want to create your island here?
Garbage Patch: I really wanted to get away from it all, you know.  I wanted to hide in a beautiful place in between California and Hawaii where the weather was always good and the circular gyre currents strong.  A no-man’s land, if you will.  It’s the perfect environment for trapping.

Marcella: Where does all your trapped flotsam come from?
Garbage Patch: Well about 80% of the debris originated from on land littering and trash heaps, but every now and again a container ship will dump a load of hockey gloves or shoes into the mix.

Marcella: Your enormous stew stinks!
Garbage Patch: A lot of marine life is dying in and around here.  Around 267 different marine species have suffered indigestion and starvation.  When they die they rot and make it smell bad.

Marcella: I think the environmentalists are going to be choked about this.  Who’s on your side?
Garbage Patch: The plastic industry lobbyists.

Marcella: Anyone ever come to visit?
Garbage Patch: No, I am pretty much ignored except for a couple of research teams.

Marcella: Any advice you might have for landlubbers?
Garbage Patch: Well trying to get international attention and effort will cost you billions.  No one wants to be responsible for smelly things.  But what humans should probably do is ban plastic food wrappers and substitute them with biodegradable materials.  You should also get together and enforce stricter litter laws and increase recycling education programs too.

Marcella: Wow Garby!  You’re deep!
Garbage Patch: I know, about 90 meters deep.

Marcella: Well, thanks for your time.  Any last words?
Garbage Patch: Just a tip…drinking water out of plastic water bottles is bad for your sex life!

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