Ahoy all!

Snow-raining here in Vancouver today. I can’t wait until I win “The Best Job in the World!” I will be able to swim the 2600km length of the Great Barrier Reef in the warm waters of the Coral Sea. I love swimming so much that I most likely will keep swimming due north around Papua New Guinea, and head straight for North Korea. As a celebrity, I am sure to be invited to meet the great Kim Jong II.

Kim Jong II is really amazing! He has plans to bring the moon to earth by 2015. He told Onion reporters: “Why not share the moon-joys with all our countrymen, as would a father with his children.” The Great Leader plans to launch 5 rockets to the moon and tow it back to North Korea. A force of over a million men will then anchor the moon to a great pedestal of Kim Jong II’s resplendent hand; named the “moon-hand pedestal.”

“The moon has much to teach us. Listen closely as she whispers to you.”

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I think this idea of bringing the moon to earth is a little outrageous and whimsical.  Why not save all that trouble and just buy an acre or two of lunar property instead?

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