Ahoy all!
Today I have decided to take matters into my own hands. There is no point in trying again and again to telepathically connect with Australians. I’d rather just use the telephone, call them right up and ask them some questions about how the devil I am going to win “The Best Job in the World.”
Marcella: How the devil am I going to win “The Best Job in the World?”
Australians: Send in a creative one minute application video by February 22nd.
Marcella: So I guess my handwritten resume won’t cut it then?
Australians: It’ll go straight into the shredder and be made into mattress filler.
Marcella: Did you know that Australians rhymes with aliens?
Australians: Yes. Did you know that orange rhymes with door-hinge?
Marcella: Oooooohhh! That’s something us Canadians have been trying to figure out for years! So tell me something about Australia. Do you have any mountains besides that red one?
Australians: Ayers Rock is called Uluru, and Uluru is strong. It is also a sandstone formation, not a mountain. Our highest mountain is called Mount Kosciuszko at 2,229 meters.
Marcella: Whoa, that’s a mouth full isn’t it?! What’s that in feet?
Australians: 7,312’ and 11.90”
Marcella: Any other heritage sites you want to brag about?
Australians: We have 17. Would you like me to name them all in alphabetical order?
Marcella: No thanks. At what age are you thrown into jail?
Australians: The minimum age of criminal responsibility in juvenile courts is 7, while the minimum age to be tried in an adult court is 16. Have you ever heard of Maitland Goal? This prison houses famous resident ghosts.
Marcella: Can we talk about fish now? Are there any interesting fish in the Great Barrier Reef?
Australians: The Coral Trout changes sex as it grows. They start their life as females and become males as they get larger.
Marcella: Well on that note, I should jet. I would like to thank you Australians for your time. Just remember to remember me.
Australians: You’re the gun applicant for the job!
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March 3rd, 2009
Famous resident ghosts? Ivan Milat? Not at all.
Ivan Milat is currently serving a life sentence for the horrific murders of seven hitch hikers across a period of 10 years or so. He resides in the multi-purpose unit of the maximum security Goulburn gaol and is classified as an extreme high-risk inmate.
In January, he cut off his finger and tried to mail it to someone. Maybe his finger is a ghost?